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There is a certain woman who, if I am not mistaken, has taken a certain interest in me. We live very far apart—nearly two hundred miles—and she is well aware of the challenge such distance might pose to any potential relationship beyond our platonic friendship. Again, I could be mistaken, but it seems to me as though she does not find our distance an insurmountable obstacle despite one rather uncertain-sounding comment about the feasibility of pursuing a relationship under our present circumstances.
I am, unfortunately, not very good at interpreting interest or disinterest from women. I pretty much assume that women are always romantically uninterested in me and that if I perceive some such interest, I am probably wrong. It is not that I think I am unlovable or undesirable or otherwise unworthy of interest beyond friendship; I just don't presume that every smile or kind word is rooted in any particular affection or desire.
It is the same for my friend living afar: she seemed interested, so I quickly considered that I might have misunderstood her. Perhaps even her comment about the feasibility of a relationship between us was her gentle way of attempting to divert my interest from her rather than telling me directly that I could not be more wrong about her being interested in me and that she would never want to be more than friends with me even if we were the last two people on Earth and we lived for a million years.
I do not think that is so, though. I am very fond of my friend and she seems to be very fond of me.
I told her that I love natural disasters for their population-thinning abilities and thus, their potential to lower housing costs and otherwise increase the quality of life for survivors, but rather than taking offense, she merely teased me about my chances of surviving. I told her that I am not religious and that despite a Christian indoctrination as a child, I doubt both the veracity of the Christian bible and the very existence of the God of Abraham as commonly represented by Christians, but she didn't mind. I warned her that I am honest, open, straightforward, and wholly unafraid of disagreement or being proven wrong—a collection of qualities that some people may misinterpret as arrogance or oppressiveness—but she sees my qualities for what they truly are and appreciates them while remaining true to herself.
In addition to my friend's apparent interest in me despite some of the things about me that seem most likely to discourage female interest, she has captured my interest in a deep, rich, and delightful way that builds wonderfully upon the solid foundation of our friendship. She seems to be perfect for me, so clearly this can mean only one thing: I must be wrong about her interest in me; in fact, she would never want to be more than friends with me even if we were the last two people on Earth and we lived for a million years.
